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[ The institution of marriage ] - 11th sep 2005
This piece of extract is also from my friend. got really
touched by the details of the story. it reminds me of .....
On
my wedding day, I carried my wife in my arms. The bridal car stopped in
front of our one-room flat. My buddies insisted that I carry her out of the
car in my arms. So I carried her into our home. She was then plump and shy.
I was a strong and happy bridegroom. This was the scene of ten years ago.
The following days were as simple as a cup of pure water: we had a kid; I
went into business and tried to make more money. When the assets were
steadily increasing, the affections between us seemed to ebb. She was a
civil servant. Every morning we left home together and got home
almost at the same time. Our kid was studying in a boarding school.
Our marriage life seemed to be enviably happy. But the calm life was more
likely to be affected by unpredictable changes. Dew came into my life.
It was a sunny day. I stood on a spacious balcony. Dew hugged me from
behind. My heart once again was immersed in her stream of love. This was the
apartment I bought for her.
Dew said, "You are the kind of man who best draws girls' eyeballs. Her words
suddenly reminded me of my wife. When we just married, my wife said, Men
like you, once successful, will be very attractive to girls. Thinking of
this, I
became somewhat hesitant. I knew I had betrayed my wife. But I couldn't help
doing so. I moved Dew's hands aside and said," You go to select some
furniture, O.K.? I've got something to do in the company." Obviously she was
unhappy, because I had promised her to go and see with her. At the moment,
the idea of divorce became clearer in my mind although it used to be
something impossible
to me.
However, I found it rather difficult to tell my wife
about it. No matter how mildly I mentioned it to
her, she would be deeply hurt. Honestly, she was
a good wife. Every evening she was busy preparing
dinner. I was sitting in front of the TV. The dinner
was ready soon. Then we watched TV together.
Or, I was lounging before the computer,
visualizing Dew's body. This was the means of my
entertainment.
One day I said to her in a slight joking way,
suppose we divorce, what will you do? She
stared at me for a few seconds without a word.
Apparently she believed that divorce was
something too far away from her. I couldn't
imagine how she would react once she got
to know I was serious.
When my wife went to my office, Dew had just
stepped out. Almost all the staff looked at my wife
with a sympathetic eye and tried to hide
something while talking with her. She seemed to
have got some hint. She gently smiled at my
subordinates. But I read some hurt in her eyes.
Once again, Dew said to me," He Ning,
divorce her, O.K.? Then we live together." I
nodded. I knew I could not hesitate any more.
When my wife served the last dish, I held her
hand. "I've got something to tell you," I said.
She sat down and ate quietly. Again I
observed the hurt in her eyes. Suddenly I didn't
know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her
know what I was thinking. I want to divorce. I
raised a serious topic calmly.
She didn't seem to be much annoyed by my
words, instead she asked me softly, why? I'm
serious. I avoided her question. This so-called
answer turned her angry. She threw away the
chopsticks and shouted at me," You are not a
man!"
At that night, we didn't talk to each other. She
was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what
had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly
give her a satisfactory answer, because my
heart had gone to Dew.
With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce
agreement which stated that she could own our
house, our car, and 30% stake of my company.
She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. I
felt a pain in my heart. The woman who had been
living ten years with me would become a stranger
one day. But I could not take back what I had said.
Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was
what I had expected to see. To me, her cry was
actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce
which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed
to be firmer and clearer. A late night, I came
back home after entertaining my clients. I saw her
writing something at the table. I fell asleep fast.
When I woke up, I found she was still there. I
turned over and was asleep again.
She brought up her divorce conditions: she didn't
want anything from me, but I was supposed to
give her one month's time before divorce, and in
the month's time we must live as normal life
as possible. Her reason was simple: our son
would finish his summer vacation a month later
and she didn't want him to see our marriage was
broken.
She passed me the agreement she drafted, and
then asked me," He Ning, do you still remember
how I entered our bridal room on the wedding
day?" This question suddenly brought back all
those wonderful memories to me. I nodded and
said," I remember." "You carried me in your arms,"
she continued," So, I have a requirement, that
is, you carry me out in your arms on the day when
we divorce. From now to the end of this month,
you must carry me out from the bedroom to the
door every morning."
I accepted with a smile. I knew she missed those
sweet days and wished to end her marriage with a
romantic form.
I told Dew about my wife's divorce conditions.
She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No
matter what tricks she does, she has to face the
result of divorce, she said scornfully. Her words
more or less made me feel uncomfortable. My
wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my
divorce intention as explicitly expressed. We
even treated each other as a stranger. So when I
carried her out for the first day, we both appeared
clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is
holding mummy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting
room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters
with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said
softly," Let us start from today, don't tell our
son." I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her
down outside the door. She went to wait for bus, I
drove to office.
On the second day, both of us acted much
more easily. She leaned on my chest. We were
so close that I could smell the fragrance of her
blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this
intimate woman carefully for a long time. I found
she was not young any more. There were some
fine wrinkles on her face.
On the third day, she whispered to me," The
outside garden is being demolished. Be careful
when you pass there."
On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I
seemed to feel that we were still an intimate
couple and I was holding my sweetheart in my
arms. The visualization of Dew became vaguer.
On the fifth and sixth day, she kept reminding me
something, such as, where she put the ironed
shirts, I should be careful while cooking, etc. I
nodded. The sense of intimacy was even stronger.
I didn't tell Dew about this. I felt it was easier to
carry her. Perhaps the everyday workout made me
stronger. I said to her," It seems not difficult
to carry you now."
She was picking her dresses. I was waiting to
carry her out. She tried quite a few but could not
find a suitable one. Then she sighed," All my
dresses have grown fatter." I smiled. But I
suddenly realized that it was because she was
thinner that I could carry her more easily, not
because I was stronger. I knew she had buried all
the bitterness in her heart. Again, I felt a sense
of pain. Subconsciously I reached out a hand to
touch her head.
Our son came in at the moment. "Dad, it s time to carry mum out," he said.
To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had been an essential part
of his life. She gestured our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I
turned my face because I was afraid I would change my
mind at the last minute. I held her in my arms,
walking from the bedroom, through the sitting
room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my
neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly,
as if we came back to our wedding day. But her
much lighter weight made me sad.
On the last day, when I held her in my arms I
could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to
school. She said," Actually I hope you will hold me
in your arms until we are old." I held her tightly
and said," Both you and I didn't notice that our life
was lack of such intimacy."
I jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the
door. I was afraid any delay would make me
change my decision. I walked upstairs. Dew
opened the door. I said to her," Sorry, Dew, I won't
divorce. I'm serious." She looked at me,
astonished. The she touched my forehead. "You
got no fever," she said. I moved her hand off my
head. "Sorry, Dew," I said," I can only say sorry
to you, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring
probably because she and I didn't value the details
of life, not because we didn't love each other any
more. Now I understand that since I carried her
into the home, she gave birth to our child, I am
supposed to hold her until I am old. So I have to
say sorry to you."
Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me
a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst
into cry. I walked downstairs and drove to the
office. When I passed the floral shop on the way,
I ordered a bouquet for my wife which was her
favorite. The salesgirl asked me to write the
greeting words on the card. I smiled and wrote --
I'll carry you out every morning until we are old.
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