today was idling at home. for very long i didn't have this kind of time to do so.... kinda of treasure such moments. doing some clearing up of my stuffs. got ready to go out in the evening to meet my dad for dinner at jurong point. for like 9 months i haven't been to jurong point already .... well i don't have the car for today. so i decided to take public transport to jurong point. i mean really public transport !! SBS bus !! took service 198 from my market place in jurong west to boon lay interchange and

it's pretty unusual for me to be on a bus and god i'm so used to driving... for like at least a year i haven't took a bus ride....

nevertheless i still enjoy this kind of feeling once in a while. learn to treasure the luxury of our country singapore ! with the kind of transport system running around our country. i bet no country had been such convenient even without owning a car. upon reaching the station, it's like SHIT !! i forgot to beep my easi link card at the terminating station. but anyway i thought back, we actually don't have to do that because it's already the terminating station .... haha ok don't laugh at me ....

dinner in jurong point was not too bad though. enjoying the local delicacies in singapore, i had the chicken rice ! yummy ! for $5.90 and i get a meal just like below !!

to tell you frankly ... this kind of deal will never be available in other countries ... the ease and convenience of a food court with all the favourite food. in singapore, for every food court you go, definitely it's so much cheaper and better than other countries !! so treasure what you're enjoying and have now !

window shopping around in jurong point i realised that that place had actually brought me memories of my secondary school days that i will go for a walk almost like 4 times a week and never buy anything .... just walking around and have a drink at any of the fast food joints to enjoy the time in the mall .... it's pretty sweet ... BUT GOD ! WHY I WASTED THE TIME NOT STUDYING ? haha jokes aside ... it's really sweet memories ....

at around 8.30pm i accompanied my dad to the police station to actually have our statements recorded down for the case of my mum. due to the fact that i'm the last family member she had conversation with .... before the officer took my statement, my dad was giving his statement... outside the glass door office, i saw him teared. and i can feel his pain in his heart that he had lost his wife. i was heartbroken too.... but bygones are bygones... nothing will come back but only the beautiful memories of my mum will sit in our mind and heart. that's what i told dad... he agreed. but it's just the moment of heartache. after i had my statement recorded, i requested to view the last pictures of my mum. the officer questioned me .... "you sure you're okay to see the pictures ? " .... i told him," well, what had happened had already happened. and it's just my last wish to see the pictures of how exactly and what had exactly happened to her...." . so he agreed to bring me up to the office and showed me the photos ....  as what they had described to me.... true enough. mum didn't bleed much, other than her nose and knee. and the whole body and facial features were still intact. to me .... the pictures had at least let me see what had exactly happened to her and i guess that's my last wish i had about my mum.... and i believe she's in peace and in a world of happiness and worries free most important .... well i believe to face death, it's just another phase of life everyone has to go through and just another test on your character and personality on how well each had handled it. to me, i feel that important thing will be how much you learnt from each issue ... if you don't learn and refuse to get over it, you will be a failure .... and if i don't get over it, i know mum will be unhappy .... the same goes to my dad and brother.... and i so glad that they know it ....

even before my mum's death, my family is already very very close .... and to share the secret recipe behind our family bonding, that would be effective communication ! talk and understand .... and tell how much we love each other.... never be shy to express it .... if shy, then just sms la ! or write it in notes ... just like what i'm doing now ....

to my readers .... i love you people ! you people are my moral support and drive to so many things that seems impossible ... the same i would share this moral support with my family and the people around me ... especially my friends and YOU ! good nite ....

finally cut and trim my hair today ..... went thru the tradition of not cutting my hair for the death of my mum. on the 22th nov was already the 49th day of my mum's hair and the mark to wake us up. we're suppose to forget and live on with our life to start afresh, from what we went through the past 49 days. well proud to say, my family including me, my dad and my brother had already get over it somehow. and i guess if we're to live in misery or grieving too much, that wouldn't help us bring my mum back to life, neither would she be able to jump out from the ash and come back to life. hahhaa touchwood !   but i believe it's true ! my mum wouldn't want to see our family in that state also.

life still has to go on. no matter how sad we feel, or the more we grieve or be miserable to ourselves would prove our love or our heartache for the lost of her. we must learn to let go. LETTING GO meaning releasing those things that had no longer belong to you and let them be happy on their own. because the more miserable you are in this kind of situation, you would make the people around you suffer only ! just like if i would to be sad and miserable for the next 3 years of my life or rest of my life, my dad and brother would suffer from me !! from my misery and going through the unneccesary torture ! why should it be the case ?

just like what i've wrote before in my quotes or what i had written in my views of love. learning to love is learning to let go. not only love. but try to do it in every aspect of your life. learning to forgive ! forgiving people is also learning to let go. because no matter the person is your children, parents or someone you don't know. even if the person is your children, bear this in mind ! everyone is different. including your children ! so don't expect them to be the same as well. not say letting them go astray... but learn to forgive them if they make any mistakes ...  because humans are just not perfect. a person may be filthy rich ! but the rich person would not have the happiness that a poor man enjoyed ! so don't live in the world of keep wanting to prove someone wrong. if there's definite wrong or right, there wouldn't be a court room already !! simple as that there wouldn't be a person named as judge or lawyers. end of the day, if the person is learning to change or has an attitude of willing to learn from mistakes, the person should be forgiven ! right ? that is learning to let go ....

OK OK OK !! crap again you all might be thinking, why terrence has so much crap to talk ! latest update ! went around in SITEX 2005 PC exhibition today evening. ermmm quite a few chicks were around giving out "wastepaper" ? sorry ermm flyers which contain price guides and information ! if you have nothing to do, try going down to visit this year's sitex. pretty enriching. look at the latest technology even if you're not buying any. well for me, i don't have anything to buy.... but i guess if you're looking for an mp3 player, i would suggest that a creative NEEON would be ideal.... go see it yourself and judge it from the other mp3 players. and if you're signing up for broadband ! GET SINGNET ! CHEAPEST DEAL IN TOWN WITH THE BEST GOODIES ! Sign up for singnet 1500kbps and contract for 3 years. in exchange, top up $329 and get a IBM pentium VI 3.06ghz PC Desktop with 17" monitor !! it's super duper good deal ! and yet you're paying only 58.80 bucks a month only !! there's a choice for not topping up, but the system give free from IBM is pretty slow. as well top up $329 and get something more worth it ?

ok visit this website and check yourself ! click here

as for other things, i couldn't find any better offers. but dell as usual are giving the best deals i ever seen for laptops. so don't waste time wondering around. the chicks giving flyers ain't worth a second look. hahaha joking. another reminder ! don't buy the cameras from harvey norman !! well there're better deals outside 50 bucks cheaper !! do your homework !!

woah ! finally back. a trip with just makan makan and makan. clothes in taipei not as cheap as singapore. very fanciful the way they had designed their clothes. especially the ladies apparels. complicated and look very jap looking. well back to the same old thing. in another way we can see that they are more materialistic than singaporean girls. and another thing is we can't really compare... the weather there in taipei is pretty different from us. they experience very cooling winter and hot summer but for singapore, it's all year long summer ! and i must admit there's quite a fair number of good looking girls i know in singapore. i must admit this. before i get beaten up.

alright ! not so much about the girls in taipei or singapore already. well i think if singapore have the nice cooling 15 degrees weather, that would be so perfect. even my dad and lawrence commented. Taipei is just like another Kuala Lumpur to us. to compare with singapore, definitely singapore is alot better than them. just like singapore there's foot court and coffee shop where everything we need to have a meal would be available in the food court or coffeeshop. whereas in taipei, it's so difficult to makan ! when you makan this stall you have to stand outside the store or sit at the store. seldom or NEVER would you be able to experience many food stalls in a SINGLE Food court or coffeeshop !! definitely talking about food, i guess singapore is still ahead of taiwan ! we have lots of different things that we can find in one hawker centre. but taiwan has more of like tidbits and snacks more than food. those kind of our pasar malam kind of things.

end of the day home sweet home is still the best. made up of different races and cultures, we have the best and widest range of food ! more convenient and alot safer when you cross the roads !! BUT STILL you have to watch out for cars la.

one thing bad about singapore is maybe our people. in terms of attitude and character. we're more kiasu. meaning afraid eat NOT ENUFF, take NOT ENUFF, everything also not ENUFF. that makes us KIA SI. scared die also. hahahha. true enough, i guess that's how our building of our country had moulded us into. but if we singaporeans can work and move towards a not KIASU or KIASI kind of personality. it would be so much perfect already ! well i would comment. HONG KONG people are generally quite ok and nice. so warmth and polite. if our country is going to hold a campaign, i would think that a courteous people campaign would be very ideal. everything starts from the front line. targetting the majority to be courteous to the people around you. imagine the customer and the sales person are both courteous and friendly towards each other, that would be so nice. we always need a head start in this kind of campaign to be develop our countrymen personality. or maybe a NOT KIASU campaign.... hahaha ok ... shall stop this crap.

today back in the studio to do my work catch up with the updates during the past 4 days, business is picking up a bit. not bad though. from all the people who had used our studio said that it's relatively quite good. hmmm but to be better, i spent 2 hours switching around the speakers and amplifiers to get better sounds when jamming. did a small test. the results is satisfying. guess tomorrow's jamming would provide a better test out of the new amps placement. things are picking up and i guess it still can be better than what it is. hopefully things would always turn out the way i want. we live and learn to make our environment better always... so never stop working for a better environment for yourself. because tomorrow is always a better day. learn to tell yourself that. just like how hard our country work to make what is singapore today.....

second day in taipei ... all woke up late .... i was with lawrence at taipei luxy club yesterday. was there for some light drinks. we brought my dad along too. it's like WAH ! so many pretty girls in the pub. i must say taipei girls really know how to dress quite well. 10 times better than singaporean girls. that makes every girl on the street looks pretty ! as what i had said before, LAZY GIRLS MAKE UGLY GIRLS. HARDWORKING GIRLS MAKE THE PRETTY GIRLS ! it's like another japan.

roads in taipei are so messy, not say it's different drive directions. taipei like united states it's left hand drive. BUT the road system is extremely messy. somewhat said to be like their country in some sense. ... haha guess you know. so afraid to cross their roads... gotta be extra careful. because by seeing the taxi drivers driving on the roads of taipei, that gives me a scare ! so if you're on a visit to taipei, be extra careful on the roads. the motorists get lots of fines for dashing cross RED LIGHTS. ok i'm going out now ! be back later to tell you more !

my younger brother's birthday ... don't know what to give him this year ... but anyway i had given him a dream come true for both of us ... which is setting up a studio and let him manage and be the boss of it ! and another thing is that i bought for him a small trophy like an oscar winning minature replica which shows this !! it writes !! best brother !!

haha gotta censor the parts that shouldn't be showing. i look really tired !! maybe not getting enough rest today. nothing to get for him this year ... already give him a studio and get him a ticket to follow me to taipei when i'm working there ! also bringing my dad to taipei as well. since my mum is not around anymore... and i can't waste my free ticket which is can transfer to my parents ! as well use it before my dad starts working ! the actual plan was actually let my mum and dad go for a holiday in taipei or china end of the year. but well it just happened that my mum couldn't make it anymore. though i'm sad but i shouldn't let the sadness grow in me. i'll keep the sweet memories with me :) . move on with life and make my family happy. let my dad and younger bro grab a breather. that's the best thing i can do and provide for them ...

today we actually found out that we got the wrong number on our flyers ( lucky not printed out yet) and the advertisements online !! calls had been directed to this indonesian guy whose number is 9862 7897. BUT !! it should be 98627987 !! my goodness ! it's like oh f*** what had i been doing !! how can i make this mistake ! actually the guy whose number belong to 7897 is pissed off with the many calls he recieved. well that's good news for the studio ! but we gotta get our prospective customers back. haha

alright, it's just how much we work harder to recover. promotion is on now at $14 dollars 1 hour for 1 hour. whereas other jamming studio rates are at 16 per hour !! woah ... big price splash. anyway promotion ends 31 december 2005. so anyway jammers out there, come and grab that chance now! actually i've intend to hold a small gig in sois studio end of this year. but don't know when can we make it for that. somehow just gotta set a target there and reach for it. opening to all but only allowing a crowd of not more than 40. because the place is not that big after all.

so can i have a show of hands how many of you don't mind coming over to listen us play rubbish ?

ok tell you guys something... i was interviewed by a friend who is suppose to get an interview with a successful person. hahahaha just can't help laughing. can't say that i'm successful. but maybe should put in the word that i'm just lucky and hardworking. making things happening. at my age, with my both hands, i've got the studio and my job. i feel that it's just plain luck and the hardwork i put in to make it happen. and without my friends around me and you people supporting, i wouldn't be here. thanks to all. the interview was half and hour. with lots of questions to answer. i also mentioned, my mum is the key to my everything. she instilled the determination and hardworking personality in me and my dad gave me the learning and humble attitude in dealing with things and adapting strongly in environments. actually there's many things that i picked up from my friends around me too. they taught me different skills as well. important factor is that how you manage to relate from it and learn from it. from there, we humans don't have to commit the mistake that the people around us committed. in other words we learn and share with each other. learning is never ending. at my father's age of 50 year old, he never give up learning. he even know how to use the computer quite well and sms me as well !! but there're many people who gave up learning at the age of like 30 +. some even earlier.

let me relate this to you. a growing person at age of teens, they ALWAYS learn and absorb from environment. and gives his comments once in a blue moon. now coming to a person who is in their 20s, they start receiving opinions and filter those that they feel like useful, and gives more comments and opinions. but once a person reaches 30s or 40s, he/she starts giving opinions ONLY and is not receptive towards comments and remarks. and THIS IS A CRUCIAL AND SADDEST THING ABOUT HUMANS. seldom or minority of the human population would be still learning and be receptive towards other people's comments. that builds up an ego of a person and it's very terrible that he/she starts to be complacent or start taking things fore granted. BUT if the person in the 30s or 40s manage to get out of the ego and learn the mistakes of stop learning, he/she would be a wiser person when they reach 50s or 60s. that's why we always say that old wise man. but i've met people who ain't old but very wise. and never give up learning.

that's why singapore has a life long learning award. i have a friend who is in his 40s. he just picked up computer last year. and he's really learning well. you see ! i learn from him that i shouldn't give up learning !! tell yourself and look at yourself in the mirror. have you stopped learning already ? don't stop !! learning never ends....

got back from taipei just yesterday ... tiring ... was back at home packing my stuffs.. slept for just 2 hours and off to the studio to practice the 2 new songs that's gonna due by this week.

anyway in taipei was quite fun though. went clubbing with a friend who i never would imagine going clubbing with. she's a director with mediacorp tv and had been quite sometime since i see her back in singapore ....

together with her i met LingZhi as well. she fell sick from work. and thus had made her go for her taipei holiday a day earlier. she had sore throat and lost her voice. that's why she couldn't host the Singapore Hit Awards.

to be even more coincidence, dasmond koh was there as well. he's on some variety shooting trip to taipei as well. along with quan yi feng. And another friend who used to be 933 fm's promotion executive was there as well. just don't know why all the people were in taipei for that particular period of time but when in singapore, it's so hard to meet. i guess another option for friends to meet would be a pre arranged holiday overseas. to be away from work would be the best days to meet. in singapore, you've your family and your work to take care of. other ways to meet your friends might just be an ideal holiday !

clubbing in taipei was really an eye opener ! girls in taipei give me a feeling ! very open ! but yet gave me another impression, materialistic. most of them are rather like the japanese as well. somehow or rather too materialistic. too much of high profile lifestyle and wanting to be in the limelight of disco and pub environment. is it a good thing ? i don't know ... maybe in singapore, there's this circle also. frankly speaking, if a person is really successful in the things they do, other than working as pub managers, waitress or waiter, they would be too busy in their work and lives. most likely than not that they would have lesser or even no time for clubbing or appearing too often in clubs.

ok on another note. to have too much time clubbing means you're too free !! just too free !! get a life ... haha anyway not saying or commenting clubbing is no good. but it's definitely not good for health. you can go clubbing.... but not too often ... agree ? in clubs you see lots of "high flyers" so call high profile people in the clubbing scene. for eg, this manager from this bank that bank.... clubbing ... yap ... you might be correct. there're a few of them. just enough for a handful out of the 200 over crowd in the club. on a serious note, have you consider or think carefully ..... ? are they just high spenders ? or high flyers ?

if they're really very high flyers, they wouldn't have so much time to appear in the clubs so often already !! simple as that. they would not even have enough time for themselves ... put aside clubbing .... make sense ? so are they high flyers or high spenders ? or u would like a high life like the rest ? ask yourself about that.

was in taipei eating and eating and sleeping ... and of cause doing some catch up with those friends. i fell sick too ... that's why i was sleeping and sleeping haha. eating means eating medication .... got flu and mild fever. it's terrible on the first day i landed in taipei and quite bad when the second day came. had recovered from that already .. and now having slight sore eyes ... an infection from the fever i've got. yesterday jamming was a bit off. because i was sick. feeling is terrible. the moment i try singing. felt quite a chore. bit tiring. because i just touched down yesterday as well.

it's almost a month since my mum had passed away ... time passes just as fast as you could ever imagine. I'm in Los Angeles right now. it's 4.30am in LA. which is singapore time 7.30pm in the evening. went out driving around in LA. First time driving in a place which is left hand drive and everything on the streets seems just opposite of what you do in the singapore streets. for new drivers i guess it's not easy. But i managed to get use to it very naturally the moment i drove out of the car rental company basement carpark. i guess maybe my adaptability is much more stronger.

starting afresh ... first time i step out of my room overseas to go for some sight seeing after like 1 month. went to the place where the hollywood letterings stand on. it's like one in a lifetime kind of thing. i never thought of getting so near to the sign to take such nice pictures on the hollywood hill. driving in a foreign country isn't as easy .... especially with people in your car, who don't have license and were making lots of comments throughout the day. with lots of directions. you must be wondering without a map, how come ppl can know the directions. these ppl are call smart alecks.... anyway there's just one person of this kind in the car. so patience is at test. well.. it turned out well. because end of the day all of us are in one piece and the car was returned without a single scratch.

i didn't know it's a 5.7 litres SUV that i'm driving ... pretty much of a strong vehicle. you seldom find a 5.7 litre vehicle back in singapore. now confidently i can say that i know how to drive in United States ! driving around in U.S is not easy. first thing, you gotta equip yourself with a street directory or some maps at least. and or best is to have a GPS system on the car. but i don't have a GPS system in the rented car. but i have a capable navigator. and after this trying to drive overseas. i find it's important that only the navigator and driver get a say. the rest sitting behind gotta keep quiet and shut the f**k up if they still want their lives. haha... and the driver gotta have lots of patience driving overseas.... you gonna say singapore traffic conditions is bad ... LA is as bad as KL !! Full of cars and the highway speed is mostly at 120km/hr !!

in LA, there's nothing too great... even it's hollywood. the security and safeness of the state is not as safe as singapore. but it's very very nice when you over look LA from the plane when you're about to land. because you can see the flights of the city .... it's so so nice and so dense .....

for this trip, after i put them down at santa monica shopping street, i went to the streets that over look the santa monica long beach. was pretty relaxing and very nice sea view. so so big that you can imagine. and you will be able to paint the picture of the beach when it's summer. though there's no people on the beach. but it's very enjoying just to stand there and feel the breeze.

i won't be back in singapore till the 8th nov. was wondering how's the studio. i'm stretching hard to save and build a dream for me and my brother. have to piece everything slowly and carefully. because time is crucial. and of course hard work plays a very important part of the dream as well. now that we have a studio, a car, a house and used to have a perfect family. haha ... though now is abit imcomplete. but that's not an issue. because end of the day it's the memories.... after almost a month, i am back on track already .... nothing much really bothers me anymore. no regrets for anything.

many would say, you gotta get on with life. you gotta be more happier. but no matter how good that you've treat a person when he/she is alive, when death comes into the picture, it's always the pain and heartache that one has to go through even there's no regrets. well, look at it this way, death is a painful process we living people have to go through. but it's the end of pain for those who are destined to go through it. don't get me wrong... i'm not encouraging people to die! haha. but that's part and parcel of the life cycle .... we have to accept and learn to let go... do you agree.... would you want to be like me, climbing out from it alot easier and shorter ? alright then. start taking good care and shower the people you love with more care and loves so that you wouldn't have any regrets..... I love my readers of the website.... hey, give me comments if my website gives you guys a good explanation of life and philosophy of it ?